My mom sent me this today I am not sure where it is from but it lightened my load.

Living….
To touch the cup with eager lips and taste, not drain it:
To woo and tempt and court a bliss—and not attain it;
To fondle and caress a joy, yet hold it lightly, Lest it
become a necessity and cling too tightly:
To watch the sunset in the West without regretting:
To smother care in happiness and Grief in laughter,
To hold the present close —not questioning hereafter:
To have enough to share—to know the joy of giving:
To thrill with all the sweets of life — Is Living.

I ran into a man last week who I met 8 years ago when I arrived here from the east coast. He is a salty single, guy and looks as if the beach has lived within him for years. Sandy grey hair, tall and kind of lanky. The type of guy you remember when you see him again 8 years later. He had some great words of advice for me when I had arrived. I was a beach girl at heart, but wanted so badly to work in the surf industry so I traveled across the country alone to find a place to call home. I signed a lease and was out here within a few months with a cast on my foot (I fell off of a curb walking down a hill to the beach, we don’t have hills back home, ha) and almost all of my belongings. The only things I had to leave at home were my animals. They arrived a month or so later and I had never been so happy to see them because honestly I was a bit lonely.

I was waiting tables in a bar and applying to work in the surf industry every other free moment I had. The salty guy whose name is Randy told me he knew a few people who worked at quiksilver, and to go for it, that I was the perfect type of person for that company whatever that meant..

I met a woman in the bar as well who took a liking to me for some reason and I to her. She wanted to hear my story and I told her that I had journeyed across the country, to find my dream job and a surfer boy to marry and have a family with. That was it pure and simple. She told me she was praying for me and that “he” (the surfer boy, was looking for me right now as we spoke). I met him a couple weeks later. Funny how life has it’s way of speaking to you through other people. People you might never see again, or maybe 8 years later to thank them and show them what you have now, and how they may have helped you a little to arrive there. It was at that moment when I ran into salty Randy that I realized my time was up here. I didn’t need to keep wondering if this was the right decision any more. I came here to do two things and I can now cross the country again with my son and my surfer boy and look back on all that I did while I was here and smile.

I traveled to far off distant lands in search of perfect beaches to have photo shoots. I had the chance to work with some of the greatest minds in action sports, I learned from the best art directors in the business, I got to fall in love with my beautiful surfer boy, I got to design books with HarperCollins, and cell phones with Motorola. I got to attend swanky parties with the who’s who in surfing and action sports. I have had my fill. I will always have a special place in my heart for Southern Califonia, this is truly where I found myself, I will hold onto that forever.